IRS Wednesday Golf League Newsletter

Week 15 – August 2, 2017


Luckily we only had a slight weather delay.  So far, knock on wood, we have no rain-outs.  I did see some teams trying to do a rain dance but to no avail.  Top 6 seeds are still tight.

League Outing info: 

League Outing is scheduled for September 8, 2017, at A.J. Jolly Golf Course.  Shotgun start at 10 a.m.  Cost this year will be the same as last year.  Caterer will be the same (menu will be Steak, Chicken Breast, Salad, Sides, and Dessert) cost is also same as last year.  Golf fee includes golf, cart, beverages, lunch, and door prizes.

·        Regulars – Golf and Dinner:  $70.00; Golf only: $55.00

·        Subs/Guest – Golf and Dinner: $80.00; Golf only: $65.00

·        Skins - $5.00, Greenies - $3.00, Long Putts - $2.00

Treasurer Chuck Reckers will start taking outing payments (checks will not be cashed until September 9).  Pouches will be in the briefcase. 

Get the word out to your subs/guest/etc. that Team Anderson will be taking sign-ups.  Send email to Charlie Halpin ( or phone/text (859-512-1822).  We have a sign up sheet in the briefcase to get a count on golfers and dinners.  

League Scramble: 

League Scramble is scheduled for August 30 (this is a paid week).  Per President Tom Schumacher the format this year will be similar to last year, 2 player scramble.   Players will be divided up into A, B, C, and D.  A & D would hit their drives then play best ball, then each would finish out their own ball and post the low score of the two.  B & C player would hit their drives then play best ball, then each would finish out their own ball and post the low score of the two.

Prior to setting up the teams please let Charlie Halpin know if you have a preference on an early tee time or a late tee time.  Tee time schedule will not be out until after the last position round.



This week we had 11 subs:  Kelly Johnson and Kevin Schumacher (for Team Schumacher); Larry Oliver and Izzy Jewell (for Team Kiffmeyer); Mary Jo Leirey (for Team Kientz); Matt McRoberts (for Team Buescher); Greg Arkle (for Team Harms); Bob Kendrach (for Team Halpin); Dave Spaeth (for Team Breen); and new subs Mark Slye Sr. and Paul Haubner (for Team Slye).  Thanks for being there.


Good rounds this week were: 

Front – Tom Schumacher – 38, Bill Zachritz -38, Larry Oliver - 39.

Back –Kevin Bachmann – 36, Paul Haubner – 36, Mike Donlin - 39.


Match of the Weak:

Frank Leirey receives this as he almost ruined the day for himself and opponents.  Possibly could have had an effect on the whole course.  Seems on #16 Frank hit his ball into the tall grass on the right.  While trying to locate his ball, rummaging through the tall grass, with Charlie Halpin on the other side, he yells out “SKUNK!!!!”  Luckily we both got away pretty quick, with no “was that you Mary Jo.”  I never saw Frank take a drop so quick.   This was after Mr. Frank Leirey and Jake Job-Rivera couldn’t find the Red Tee boxes on #14.


Almost forgot about the incident on #18.  Seems Greg Arkle got his ball stuck in the tree by the 18th green.  Word has it he did not play it where it landed.


Sandbaggers of the Weak: (5.0 greater or less):


Most Under Average:

Dave Gindele shoots 41 (8.6 under average), Eddie Gregory shoots 44 (7.4 under average), Mike Sullivan shoots 49 (7.4 under average), Mike Breen shoots 44 (5.7 under average), Pat Harms shoots 50 (5.6 under average), Mike Donlin shoots 39 (5.4 under average).


Most Over Average:

Izzy Jewell shoots 55 (8.8 over average).


Status of the Almighty Fork:

Week 6 - Team Schumacher. 

Week 9 – Team Freeman, Team Patmann, Team Breen.

Week 13 – Team Buescher.


Division Standings:

o   Division A has Defending Champs Team Bramlage taking the division lead back and #3 seed from Team Kiffmeyer.  Team Kiffmeyer is now 12.5 points out of the lead and 42.5 points out of seeding.  Team Schumacher falls behind more and is now 84.5 points out of the lead.  Team Patmann brings in 4th at 148 points out and took their place back at the top of upside down list. 

o   Division B has Team Pfeiffer still holding a lead and #4 Seed.  Team Kientz brings in second and is now 9.5 points out of the lead.  Team Flynn still holds 3rd and is narrowed the gap to 34.5 points out.  Team Buescher finally brings in a win and is now 71 points out of the lead.

o   Division C has Team Anderson (The Shirts) still holding their lead and the #1 Seed.   Team Harms (#5 Seed) closed in and is only 10.5 points out.  Team Vaughn brings in 3rd and holds the #6 Seed and narrowed the gap to 61.5 points out.   Team Freeman brings in 4th and is still working on being the spoiler. 

o   Division D has Team Leirey still holding their lead and the #2 seed.  Team Halpin in 2nd place fell again on points and is now 48.5 points out of the lead (46 points out of seeding).  Team Slye brings in 3rd and is still 72 points out of the lead (69.5 out of seeding).   Team Breen comes in 4th and is still working on being a spoiler. 


Current Seeding:

1.     Team Anderson

2.     Team Leirey

3.     Team Bramlage

4.     Team Pfeiffer

5.     Team Harms

6.     Team Vaughn


Heard in the Clubhouse:

According to Team Breen there was another assassination attempt this week.  Seems I someone teeing off on #14 sent the ball through the woods and down onto #13 almost taking out players from Team Breen and Team Slye.  Thank you Mr. Mike Breen for returning my ball that was meant to take out Team Slye.  (Note:  when attempting to take out any competition don’t have your name on the ball.)

Mr. Pat Breen telling Mr. Mike Breen (“don’t put your hand up”).  Could that be another nomination for League Secretary.

Dick Flynn finally getting a Greenie.  Wow!!!

Things I saw written:

#13 – Mr. Long Putt Goodwin (Not Bill Z)

#18 – Mr. Feldman (Not Goodwin…Yet)


Question for the Weak/Thoughts to Ponder: 

Received this from President Col. Tom Schumacher:


2016 Darwin Awards: 


Eighth Place -  

·         In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. 


Seventh Place - 

·         A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. 


Sixth Place -  

·         While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. 


Fifth Place - 

·         Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. 


Fourth Place -  

·         Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. 




Third Place -  

·         After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt. 



·         Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. …so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently, they failed to notice that the window was closed.



·         Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.



·         Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens'



 Summary of Rounds Played – August 2, 2017












Match Results






















































Tom Schumacher & Bill Zachritz



Kevin Bachmann & Paul Haubner


Eagle/Hole in One


Eagle/Hole in One Pool

$2.00 was added to the Eagle pool.  The pool now has $98.00 in it. (Note:  Must be in Skins to win Eagle Pot.)



Cecil Begley & Larry Oliver

Both in Skins


Jim Grassinger

Not in Skins


Jim Grassinger

Not in Skins


Tom Marsh

Skin -- $60.00


Tom Schumacher, Bill Zachritz & Don Buescher

All in Skins


Kevin Bachmann

Skin -- $11.00


Paul Haubner

Not in Skins


Mike Breen

Skin -- $11.00


Mike Donlin

Skin -- $11.00

Note: To all Team Captains or those regulars that complete the “Point Sheet” after the match is completed, please ensure that all birdies are recorded on the “Point Sheet”.

Other Skins


Kevin Bachmann

Skin -- $11.00




Dick Flynn



Dale Schaber



Mike Breen


Closest to Pin 2nd Shot


Steve Duddey


Long Putt


Tom Schumacher



Charlie Halpin


Money Leaders -- Top 10 & Ties

Bachmann, Kevin

 $    174.00

Slye, Mark

 $    152.00

Halpin, Mark

 $    131.00

Ruehl, Steve

 $    110.00

Vaughn, Ray

 $    110.00

Goodwin, Dale

 $    107.00

Reckers, Chuck

 $      99.00

Marley, Boyd

 $      91.00

Buescher, Patrick

 $      90.00

Donlin, Mike

 $      88.00

Skins—Greenies—Long Putt

Most of the regulars and subs in the league know about Skins, Greenies, and Long Putt. For those that do not, each week there will be a sheet and a box on one of the tables in the clubhouse.  The sheet will have the names of all the regulars and blank lines at the bottom for subs to write in their names. $3.00 entry fee for Skins; $1.00 entry fee for Greenies and $1.00 entry fee for Long Putt.  Place a check mark for each category for which you are participating.  If the Briefcase is not out notate on your scorecard your intent to play and pay when you complete your match.  First teams out please take the markers, last teams in please bring markers in.

Newsletter provided by:

Charles Halpin

IRS Golf League Secretary                                                                                                            

 Mr. Jim Bram-la-ge continues his quest to become League secretary and is running a golf altering agenda.  If enough rules are changed he should be able to easily defeat all opponents.  My suggestion stands that anyone with an average below 44 should move to the Blue tee boxes, 45 and above to the White tee boxes, and only women and those men over age 80 (no maybe age 90) on the forward tees.  Women over age 45 (or average over 45) should be able to move to the end of the fairway and tee up.  Sorry Mr. Frank Leirey there are no Red Tees.  Complaint Chairman Bill (still no skins, no long putts, and no greenies) Zachritz still without any.  Thanks for your donations.  As always, this paragraph may or may not have many or no errors.   Read at your own risk, especially this line as some have suffered severe eye strain… or loss of motion from falling over laughing…or severe shock…